Dave (daveofnewt) wrote,

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The End is Nigh

The time has come. I just picked up my second internet stalker in the span of a couple months, so I've decided that after a long and glorious run on the internet dating scene, it is time to turn in the uhhhhhh... keyboard? To commemorate this fact, I've decided to give an account of my five worst on-line dating experiences. My criteria are as follows:

1. I had to actually go on a date with the person. I've had some crazy interactions with people via phone and e-mail (such as my stalkers), but to qualify for this list we had to meet in person.

2. The "badness" of the date had to somehow be a product of the actual date. In other words, I'm not going to whine about rejection - this is about bad dates not hurt feelings. This also rules out the woman who told me she didn't understand fractions (it wasn't just that she was bad at math or something, if you said that you had a third of a cake she would have no idea what you were talking about) since this didn't really affect the date itself (since we didn't split the check in half or anything).

3. It had to be a bad date, not a dud. So, the many times I met someone who was perfectly nice but couldn't keep up with my sparkling wit and charm don't count - here I'm celebrating dates that were over the top; dates that are memorable for all the wrong reasons.

So there you have it. For the sake of privacy I will refer to each and every woman as "Jill." Why Jill? Why not? The countdown will begin with the 5th worst date and will then follow a downward spiral that will culminate in my worst date ever (and yes, following in the fine tradition of VH1, the list does have a twist).

Stay tuned for #5 - "You Owe Me A Buck Fifty!"

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